Happy Friday...beware of poo

It's Friday and that means 2 things...1) it's almost the weekend (yay, extra hubby time!) and 2) I've almost survived a whole week of cloth diapering!  

I never realized just how many of my friends were cloth diaper mamas until my last blog post...ya'll are amazing!  What a wonderful support system I will have during times of frustration or confusion!  And if a mama of twins can handle this, I most certainly should be able to (props to you Jenn)!

*Brief warning, the next paragraph will contain some poo...literally. If ya don't like poo, skip past this one.*

So far, cloth diapering hasn't been so bad. We've had a couple of minor leaks (user error, still trying to figure out what snaps are too tight and what snaps are too loose etc.) and one dreaded "peanut butter" poo (sorry if I just ruined peanut butter for you, I know I did for my mom when I told her about this)...ya know, that stage where it's no longer just breastfeeding poo that you can just throw on the washer, and it's not quite a flushable turd (I warned you).  I planned on purchasing some flushable liners, but haven't yet, so I had to deal with it somehow. So I got creative. I used a clipboard to hold the diaper above the toilet and the peri bottle I got from the hospital and essentially created my own diaper sprayer system for zero dollars!  I still think I wanna get some liners, though, they just sound easier...thoughts cloth diaper mamas?

Gosh, that last paragraph makes it seem like my life is consumed with my child's excrement, which is true to a degree. But there are other things going on for me. Like...um...ya know I've got...um.  Cleaning.  I used a couple of the bazillions of microfiber diaper inserts I received to clean my floors...just stuck them to the Velcro on my swiffer wet jet and went to town.  So I won't be purchasing any more of those expensive refills...and pinterest taught me how to remove the lid to the wet jet bottle so I could refill it with something else...so I won't be purchasing those expensive refills either.  And cooking. Aside from making dinners, I finally whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies for my aunt and uncle for letting us borrow their stove while we're living in this house (it is SUPER difficult to find a used LP gas stove, thank goodness for family!). Cookies are SO much more enjoyable to make with my new KitchenAid mixer! 

Wow, my life is so not exciting anymore. 

But I get to spend my days with my favorite little man, so I couldn't be happier with my dull life!  And this weekend my mother-, father-, and brother-in-law are coming to visit, and weather permitting we'll be doing some fun things together, so I'm super excited for that!  And next week for David's Fall break we will be traveling to TN to spend time at my parents place there for what I assume will be our last time (please pray that their Tennessee home sells quickly, we want them back ASAP!)

Let me leave you with one of the many adorable 6 month photos of my son taken by my talented cousin Lindsey!  At his 3 month photos Ezra was sooo over it, but this time he turned on the charm when the camera was in front of him! Such a handsome boy! 

Happy Friday!

Oh yeah, I DID have a blog...

Reading back over my blog proves two things to me.  1) I am TERRIBLE at New Year's Resolutions (blog my way through the whole year...haha!) 2) I have not provided and update on life since my little Ezra was born...that was over 6 months ago!  And soooo much has changed since then!  We are living back in my hometown in Indiana for one thing...my husband got a job here, and Indiana has NOT frozen teacher salaries for the last 6 years, so he was able to get quite a hefty raise just by moving a few states to the north and having 5 years of experience in his pocket.  This has allowed me to be a stay-at-home mommy, which has always, always, ALWAYS been my dream.  Even though I'm back in my hometown near family and I get to be a stay-at-home mommy, sometimes I get sad and lonely for my North Carolina life.  I had a church family and work friends there, and we haven't found that here yet.  Every Sunday when we try a new church, I can't help but cry...I just miss North Ridge, I miss my community group, I miss my group of fellow mommies, I miss my running buddies.  I am so, so thankful that God brought them into my life, but I miss them terribly now.  Sometimes it's hard to believe that God can do it again...finding friends is not something that comes easily for my introverted and shy self.  But I know He can, and He will if I'm patient.  And in the meantime, I have my family so close to me that I get to see them on a weekly basis again, and my mom and dad are even moving back to the area soon, which is a praise!  I just hope He brings us a new church home quickly!

I was made to be a homemaker I believe.  I know this isn't true for every woman, but it is certainly true for me.  I LOVE being at home with my little Ezra Jude, and I LOVE taking care of our house, and I LOVE being able to serve my husband dinner every night without whining about how tired I am (which was my daily complaint when I was teaching full time).  Moment of confession here: between the two of us, David has always been the clean one.  Shameful to admit, but when we both came home from a long day of teaching exhausted and ready to relax, if the house was dirty I was not the one who jumped up to vacuum the floor or clean the bathroom...that was him.  But now, I ENJOY cleaning.  Seriously, I do!  I have a cleaning calendar, and I have one big task to complete every day, and our house looks pretty awesome as a result (most days...I took a week off when I had a bad cold, and it's amazing how much things can go downhill in that amount of time...).  I love being able to serve my husband in that way.  Now, when he comes home from a long day of teaching exhausted, he doesn't have to jump up and clean...it's already done!  And I try to always have a meal ready for him when he gets home, which means I have tried out a lot of those Pinterest recipes that I pinned forever ago...finally!  And it's good food too...not pre-packaged frozen dinners or a box of macaroni and cheese like we always made on those days when we were both in the workforce and were sooo not into making a meal when we got home.  I think we are both much happier with this arrangement than the previous one!

Of course, having one income is not without its struggles.  Although David is earning more, things are tight. We were pretty skilled at living off of one income for the necessities, but we always had my paycheck available for the "extras".  Now we don't, so we have to be much more frugal and meticulous with our budget than before.  There's not a lot of wiggle room, and we're both trying to find ways to earn a little extra money so that we can do things like save up to buy a house someday.  We are currently renting a home from my grandparents, which has been wonderful and such a blessing!  We are in the country, it's quiet and peaceful, we don't have to worry about neighbors being loud or complaining that our dog is loud...but we'd like our own home someday!  It will probably take us awhile to save up the money for a down-payment, but we're trying to learn patience.  Not only is it a good life practice, but it's a good parenting practice as well.

I've also decided to start something extremely scary, but also money-saving...cloth diapers!  Yes, I used to scoff at those who considered cloth diapering full time, but I guess the idea became ingrained in my head when I found out just how tight things were going to be for us financially and realized that the nice stash of disposable diapers that we had received from our baby showers was quickly dwindling.  I researched how much money it saved, brands, styles, snaps vs. velcro, etc. etc. etc. until my eyes had gone blurry from scouring blogs and websites, and if I watched another YouTube video on what to do with the poop I was going to throw my computer out the window (when I research, I research HARD...it is no joke people), and brought my proposition to my husband.  His words, "If you think you can handle it, I'll be on board."  So a new adventure is at hand...we'll see how this goes.

We've been really really blessed with such an easy-going, and really just all around easy child.  God knew what he was doing when He sent us Ezra Jude, and He apparently knew that I couldn't handle a difficult child at this point in my life!  Nursing...no problem!  He figured it out within that first day in the hospital.  Mixing up his days and nights...not Ezra, he had it figured out before he was even born.  Not only that, he was born in the midst of some major changes for us, and has taken the changes in stride easily.  Moving across the country with a newborn baby...not easy!  But Ezra slept most of the way for us, and made the transition easier.  Unpacking boxes in a big new house alone...Ezra rode around in my sling and enjoyed watching me work.  Sleeping got kinda dicey there for awhile, and I was becoming a sleep deprived monster and my mommy skills were mediocre at best...but Ezra took to the sleep training that we did with him so easily, and within two nights was sleeping 12 hours at night!  We recently started solid foods and he DEVOURS everything we've given him so far.  Even taking him to the doctor for vaccinations is relatively easy, because Ezra cries for all of 30 seconds, and as soon as I pick him up, the waterworks are over!  I am so, so thankful for my sweet, easy-going child, and I know that this personality of his has nothing to do with my parenting skills and everything to do with God!  I've gotta be honest though, it makes me nervous to have more children...no two children are the same, and in many cases they are complete opposites...so our next one could be quite the handful!

I'm still not quite my old self, though, even after 6 months of being not-pregnant.  I'll be honest, the weight came off quickly and easily...at my 6 week check up I had already lost all of the baby weight.  The doctor was actually concerned that I had lost it so quickly, even though I wasn't doing anything differently than when I was pregnant except for nursing.  However, even with the weight gone my body is not the same.  I have some saggy skin and stretch marks and all of that fun stuff, and my stamina for running is not the same (and without my running buddies to push me forward I have kinda lost the will to try to regain it).  And my mommy brain...oh my goodness!  My parents had a nickname for me growing up...I was "the elephant that never forgets".  I remembered EVERYTHING, particularly the things they would rather me have forgotten.  I have officially lost that title.  Most days I forget to put on deodorant, and that is an everyday ritual for me, so things that aren't everyday rituals are nearly impossible for me to remember.  I can't even blame lack of sleep anymore...just lack of brain cells I guess!

So there's a quick update on my life.  Until next time (which could be anytime from the next few days to a year from now...but who's counting?)!

David and I dancing at my sister's wedding...and my sister dancing with Ezra!

Welcome Ezra Jude!

Here I sit, one day after my due date, holding my 15 day old sleeping little boy in my arms! Amazing!  He was born exactly 2 weeks early and came very unexpectedly, but now that he's here I couldn't be more happy.  Before I forget the details of his birth I wanted to get them down here, plus this blog is due some blogging!

It all started on Monday, March 25th.  I had a routine doctor appointment to see how my pregnancy was progressing.  At my last appointment I was already dilated 1 cm and was 80% effaced, which was a great start, so I was excited to see if I'd progressed any further.  That is when the doctor told us that I was measuring small...which was most likely a genetic thing because my husband and I are both small, but could indicate low amniotic fluid.  He wanted us to come back the next day for an ultrasound, however David's colleagues were throwing us a baby shower that day, so we scheduled the ultrasound for Wednesday.  We went in for the ultrasound excited to get a glimpse of our baby again and thinking nothing was wrong, but during the ultrasound the ultrasonographer looked concerned and said we would need to see the doctor again.  As it turns out my amniotic fluid was low so they hooked me up to a monitor to check the baby's heartbeat and my contractions (which I wasn't aware that I was having at all). After 10 minutes on the monitor the doctor decided that I needed to go to the hospital to be monitored through the night and the next day I would need to be induced.  This came as quite a shock to my husband I who both had one more day of school before spring break and were fully expecting to be able to enjoy at least part of our spring break before the baby came.  I burst into tears immediately. I hadn't had time to prepare for labor and delivery, I hadn't had time to pack a hospital bag, I hadn't had time to finish getting my plans ready for my substitute (my husband and I had planned to go to my do this after the ultrasound was over), I hadn't gotten to enjoy my spring break with my husband and celebrate our last days as a family of two, and I just wasn't ready to have a baby. We asked the doctor if we could talk to our friend Yates, who is also an OBGYN. Yates explained everything to us, assured us that this was the best thing to do for the baby, and prayed with us before sending us off to the hospital.  We RUSHED to my school before we went to the hospital so I could at least get something ready for my substitute and I got to talk to my principal about not coming to school the next day because of having a baby and I cried again in her office. She hugged me and assured me that everything would be ok, and told me to focus on my baby and not think of school.  I got a few things ready for the substitute, RUSHED home to pack a hospital bag, and checked into the hospital, all the while holding back tears and feeling anxious. Once in the huge labor/delivery/recovery room, I got into a lovely hospital gown, got hooked up to an IV and monitor and settled in for the night.  The plan was for me to be started on pitocin at 5 the next morning. I don't think I slept more than an hour or two.

Apparently there was an emergency C-section at 5 in the morning, so at 6:30 the next morning they finally started me on pitocin. It took a little while for the pitocin to kick in but then I started to have contractions.  They were no big deal and I thought to myself "This isn't so bad, I can handle this".  Around 10 o'clock the doctor checked me and I was dilated to 3 cm and he broke my water. Once my water was broken the contractions started to come a lot more quickly and painfully. Around noon or one the contractions became so painful that I couldn't handle it anymore and asked for an epidural. It took an hour for the anesthesiologist to get there to give me the epidural and I thought I was going to die from the pain of my contractions. At one point I even told David that I couldn't do this anymore. He did such a great job coaching me, reminding me to breathe, encouraging me to move and to get into the different labor positions that we had learned in childbirth class, allowing me to squeeze his hand, etc. I couldn't have made it without him. I was terrified of the epidural, but I was so ready for relief that I didn't even care about the needle going into my back. Once it was in the relief was pretty quick, but not complete...I had a "hot spot" on the left side of my abdomen in which I could still feel the pain of contractions, but it was definitely diminished. Around 2:30 the lactation consultant came in to talk to me about breast-feeding because she got off at four and wasn't sure if I would be delivered before she left. I was so exhausted from lack of sleep and from the pain of contractions that I almost fell asleep as she was talking to me. Finally sometime around 3 o'clock the doctor came in to check my dilation again and told me that if I sneezed the baby would come out! I was dilated 10 cm 100% effaced and the baby was in a very low position and it was time to start pushing!  It just so happened that my husband's parents had just arrived a few minutes earlier, and David was in the lobby talking to them when the doctor came in.  I was freaking out that he was going to miss the birth of his son, and I texted him this text "It's baby time...get in here!"  He came back just in time!

Pushing was hard. Not only could I not feel my legs to keep them up on the stirrups, which resulted in my husband and a nurse holding my legs up (let me just note here that my husband watched the whole birth, including the doctor giving me an episiotomy, on an empty stomach and didn't pass out...impressive!), I also couldn't feel if I was pushing hard enough. I just pushed until my face turned red and I felt like I was going to pass out from holding my breath and hoped it was enough.  I only pushed for 15 minutes before Ezra was born and I'm glad it wasn't any longer because I don't think I could've kept it up for an hour or more. When he finally came out and started crying I started crying too, partially because I was relieved that I could stop pushing and partially because my baby boy was finally here!   They cleaning him up a little bit and then put them directly on my chest for some skin to skin contact and it was amazing how quickly his vitals came up when he was placed on my chest. The lactation consultant was still there so she worked with me on breast-feeding for a few minutes and we finally got the hang of it (my little boy is smart!)  All the while I was still in a very vulnerable position with the doctor working to stitch me up, but I didn't care...I was focused on my baby boy.  Then finally everyone left the room, and David and I got some alone time with our son.  We spent a good hour marvelling over every little body part, every facial expression, every single thing about him, before we finally allowed visitors to come up.  The first visitors we had were David's mom, dad, and sister, who fell in love with our little boy instantly (who wouldn't?)  Ezra is the first grandchild for both of our parents, so he will of course be spoiled (I have some experience in that area, being the first grandchild for both of my parents parents myself).  His parents had to leave the next day, because Easter weekend is a pretty big deal for a pastor and his family, but my parents came the next day along with my sister, so we only had a few hours alone in the hospital with our baby.

I decided that I needed to stay an extra night because I was still in quite a bit of pain, and it is amazing what a difference a day makes.  By the next morning I felt good enough to get out of bed and get myself ready for the trip home.  It was quite an ordeal getting him into his carseat, but once we figured that out, I hopped into the wheelchair (although I'm pretty sure I could have walked) and was pushed to our waiting vehicle.  I've heard it said that the trip home from the hospital is the longest trip of your life, but fortunately we only live 5 minutes from the hospital so for us it was no big deal.  My mom, dad, and sister helped us get us settled into our house with our new family member, and we got to introduce Ezra to our dog Gambit, who wasn't so sure about the baby at first, but now is his fierce protector.  Mom, Dad, and Bri went out to get us groceries, which we were so appreciative of because it was the end of the month and we were cleaned out of food.  They also got a birthday cake for my sister as it was her birthday that day...she had missed out on a lot of plans that she had with her friends to come see her little nephew, but she claims that it was totally worth it.

My sister and dad left the next day, but my mom stayed for the week and helped us out.  The nursery was a mess because we had just had a baby shower the day before I checked into the hospital, so mom helped us organize that, she cleaned our house, cooked us meals, and every sanded and painted a dresser for the baby's room, which is something I wanted done desperately to complete the room (nesting) but David said it could wait until we moved out of our townhouse.  And of course she held the baby so we could shower and try to do normal things again.  David's older brother came to visit us during the week my mom was there as well, so he got to tag along for a few of the fun things that happened that week, including Ezra's one week appointment and newborn photo shoot.

At his one week appointment the doctor was pleased to see that Ezra had already gained back his birth weight.  This was a relief to me because it told me that he was getting enough to eat (a common fear of nursing mothers).  Our little boy was deemed healthy, and we beamed with pride over this good report.  The next day was his newborn photo shoot, which some friends from church had paid for as a baby shower gift.  I was a nervous wreck about how Ezra would do, if he would cooperate or if he would cry.  He was amazingly well behaved (i.e. he slept like a baby and only pooped on one of their fuzzy rugs), and our photographer and her husband were amazing and very patient.  It was a surprisingly pleasant experience!

My dad came to pick my mom up on Saturday and they left Sunday.  It was very hard to see her go, not only because she took care of us so well, but also because I don't get to see my mom that often and it was great to have her around for advice and concerns.  David and I have been home along with our baby this whole week, and we've done pretty well (although neither of us has really cooked a meal yet...we're still living off of my mom's leftovers).  Yesterday was an awful day because we took Ezra for his circumcision...I cried before during and after the procedure and I still can't quite bring myself to change his diaper because it just looks so painful (David is on official diaper duty).  Today David's mom is flying in and will stay with us for a week as well, which will be great when David goes back to work next Wednesday.  I don't know how I'm going to manage all by myself when David and all of our family is gone, but I'm sure Ezra and I will be just fine.

All in all, this experience has been unlike any other experience in my life.  Being a mommy is something that I have always wanted to be, and it has been wonderful (despite the lack of sleep).  I love my little boy more than I ever imagined that I could, and each day I grow to love him even more.  As hard as it is for me to admit, I will not be perfect at raising my child, but I am going to try my hardest to do the best I can for him.  The biggest thing that I have committed to do is to pray for him everyday.  If there is anything that I have learned from my life and those around me it is that prayer is the most powerful thing that you can do for someone that you love, and sometimes it is the only thing you can do.  So that's what I intend to do for my son.  I will pray for his development, his well-being, his future, and anything else that I can think of to pray for him.

Welcome to the world Ezra Jude!

Playing Catch Up

Another early morning blog post (because I am incapable of falling back to sleep once I wake up to pee)!  I know, I know, it's been forever since I last blogged, and you probably thought I was a lost cause.  Would you believe me if I said I had a bunch, a BUNCH of legitimate excuses as to why I haven't blogged in over a month?  It all started with taking my final online class through University of Phoenix.  The class was 6 weeks long, and as all online classes do, require a lot of writing and discussion board work.  Because I teach during the week and am exhausted by the time I get home, I procrastinated on all of my assignments until the weekend, which left me with both lesson planning for the following week AND completing my online assignments every weekend.  Needless to say I spent a lot of time scrambling to finish on time.

Add to the mix that 2 out of the 4 weekends in February (were there 4 weekends in February?  I can't keep track anymore) I had baby showers thrown for me, one of which was in Ohio meaning a 7 hour drive to and from the shower in one weekend, and the other one here in NC for which we had family who drove 7 hours to and from the shower in one weekend.  They were both wonderful showers with amazing food and great company, and David and I are so incredibly blessed to have so many people who love us and our little baby Ezra so much.  We are so thankful to everyone who bought us a gift, because we feel so much more ready for our son's arrival than we did before!  We spent a whole Saturday preparing the nursery by renting a Rug Doctor and cleaning the carpet, followed by hours upon hours of building things like a crib, a swing, a bouncer, and a stroller.  And when family was here for the baby shower, they helped us so much by giving us a changing table and a dresser and helping us to organize the room further...it actually looks like a nursery instead of a disaster now!  As soon as we put on some finishing touches I will be posting pictures!  Oh, and did I mention that we got our maternity pictures taken by my wonderful and talented cousin Lindsey who made the 9 hour trip from Indiana to North Carolina with my sister for the shower we had here?  The pictures that she's edited so far have been amazing, and she tells me there are even more to come!  I'm so excited to see them!

To top it all off, there have been some family issues that I won't get into (but I will tell you that they occupied a lot of my thoughts in the month of February), there was the nasty head cold that I got one weekend and the stomach bug that my husband had a few weekends after, and then there was the tragic death of one of my students just a little over a week ago (which to be honest I don't think I've fully come to terms with yet, because when I see her empty desk I still think she'll be coming back someday).  I don't even know how to describe how awful it was to come to school the day after the accident and face a classroom full of students with questions and to not be able to answer them...I can always answer their questions and if I can't, I find the answer.  Not this time.  I couldn't face them, so although I felt like a complete coward, I left them in the hands of the crisis team counselors and sought out the room that was set aside for grieving teachers, and I was relieved to find that all of my teammates had done the same.  It was a rough day during which the four of us who taught this precious girl walked around the school like zombies and took turns crying, but I was so glad that we were all there for each other, and what's more the students were there for us too.  So many students have been scared to hug me because of my huge, pregnant belly (especially my students from last year who only knew me as my former tiny self) but on that day well all held each other for as long as we needed to.  So many tears and so much heartbreak...I will unfortunately never forget that day.  But I will also never forget how much I love my students, which was proven to me ten times over with the loss of one sweet girl, and I told them so with tears in my eyes the next day.

I'm not sure how to transition from that last paragraph, which is so sad, on to things a little bit more exciting except to say that life goes on for us left behind.  My husband and I have been tasked with the exciting job of taking care of a boy named Ezra so although we will never forget those who have gone on to heaven, we must move on with our own lives.  We have recently started attending classes on breastfeeding and child birthing, both of which scare me to death but are so fascinating to learn about at the same time.  It's hard to believe that women have been breastfeeding since the beginning of time because during the class they make it seem sooooo complicated!  I want to breastfeed so badly for so many reasons, the most important of which being my baby's health!  I just pray that Ezra and I will be able to get the hang of it and that I'll have the perseverance to not give up!  And then there's child birthing...um yikes!  I'm kinda terrified of it, but excited about it at the same time.  Actually, I don't want to think about that part right now...I'm still enjoying pregnancy and I'm not ready for this stage to end quite yet.  Although I am currently 35 weeks and feeling huge.  AND to make it even better, people are saying I look huge and won't make it to my due date...gee thanks people!  Within the last couple of weeks I have gained some badges of honor from my pregnancy in the form of stretch marks...oh joy!  I did all I could to prevent them, oiling up my belly multiple times per day, but when you go from very little to very not little it's bound to happen at some point.  I'm trying to accept them, but it's a struggle.  It doesn't help that my little boy is still a wiggle worm, constantly pushing stretching my belly even more.  It's like he's trying to expand his space in there a little more by pushing on it and holding, which can be quite painful when he does it over and over and over again in the same spot all the time...he is a persistent little one!  And still stubborn...my mother-in-law could not get my little boy to cooperate so she could feel him moving when she was here for our baby shower, and I'm not kidding when I say this kid moves all the time, but for some reason when someone besides David or I try to feel him, he immediately stops.  Yeah, can you say STUBBORN?  Our doctor said that he believes you can tell a lot about a child's personality by the way he is inside the womb...which if it's true means we will very likely have a hyperactive child who is both persistent and stubborn...I'm not quite sure we're ready for this...

P.S.  I was going to add some pictures to this blog, but blogger is not cooperating with me right now...maybe another day.

Morning Musings

So here I sit, up early on a Saturday morning because my little boy began his morning calisthenics at 6:30 and is still going strong at 8:45. I don't really mind though...I'm an early riser anyways, and I love being able to lounge on the couch and watch my belly move. This is a really strange connection to make, but bear with me...remember that movie The Mummy and those beetles that would crawl around under people's skin? That's kinda what watching Ezra move reminds me of now, except way less creepy and way more amazing. I was reading on my What to Expect When You're Expecting app that it's a good idea to count the number of your baby's movements in an hour (there should be at least 10) to make sure that all's well in there...let me tell you, that is not at all necessary with my little guy. He is pretty much constantly in motion when I am not. If I'm up teaching or going for a walk he'll be still, but the moment I sit down he's a little bundle of energy again. He especially likes to wiggle around just moments after I eat, which was particularly true last night when my husband and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and tried the Asian Zing wings...super hot, super delicious, and super baby-moving! He was kicking so hard after those wings that shopping afterwards was a struggle (which if you know me well you know that shopping for me is NEVER a struggle!). Don't you worry, I powered through ;)
Some other ridiculous and random thoughts I've been having lately: I had another doctor's appointment on Wednesday, and during this appointment they did the glucola test where they make you drink what tastes like Kool-Aid with extra sugar and then after an hour they draw your blood to ensure that your body is processing sugar the way it's supposed to and you don't have gestational diabetes. I hate needles, I hate blood, and I hate pain, so this was an appointment that I've been dreading. I was so whiny about the whole blood-giving experience that afterwards I exclaimed to my husband "How in the world am I going to get an epidural if I can hardly stand a little needle in my arm?" This statement immediately struck me as ridiculous...like really Val, do you really think the epidural is the part of the process that will be the most painful? Yes, I fully intend on getting an epidural during the delivery of little Ezra...although I hate needles, I am not my mother (who told me once that she doesn't remember much pain from either of her completely natural childbirths, just a lot of pressure...she is either the toughest woman ever, which is very likely, or she has the best case of delivery amnesia ever). I am a pain wimp, so I fully intend on that needle going into my spine ASAP. I accidentally found myself watching A Baby Story yesterday (which is a really bad idea when you're expecting, but when I wasn't expecting I wasn't interested in it at all), and one woman went about her delivery with an all-natural mindset while the other immediately went for the epidural at the first sign or discomfort...NIGHT AND DAY DIFFERENCE! Neither one looked pretty, but boy did they sound different! One was crying and exclaiming that she was going to die, the other was smiling and joking with her doctor. Um yeah, I'll take the latter please!
Well, it is now 9:20, and little Ezra is still doing his exercises...my little wiggle worm! I'm going for a walk at 10 with a fellow preggie, and I'm hoping my movement will lull him to sleep for a little while...we shall see!

The Joys of Maternity Jeans

I stuck it out for as long as I could...I was able to wear my regular pre pregnancy pants unzipped with a belly band over them for 6 months of my pregnancy, and it finally got so darn uncomfortable that I broke down and bought some maternity pants. Wow, what a difference! I understand why some women don't want to go back to wearing regular pants after baby. Without a button or a zipper they are just so stinking comfy! I was able to find quite a few at Goodwill and other thrift stores and consignment shops, but one staple was still missing from my maternity pant wardrobe...skinny jeans. Maternity skinny jeans are impossible to find at a reasonable price, so I splurged. I went into Motherhood Maternity (where they are clearly trained to deal with highly emotional women concerned about how big they're getting) and forked over a good chunk of my Christmas cash for the perfect pair of maternity skinny jeans...so worth the money! I put them on and you can almost hear the hallelujah chorus start playing in the background, they are just that good!
In other news, Ezra has a new hobby...it's called kicking-mommy-in-the-ribs-in-the-middle-of-the-night. Painful AND sleep reducing. I've been like a walking zombie all week as a result. Not to mention I just entered the third trimester and I'm feeling extra tired all the time anyways. And huge. But, it's all a part of pregnancy and I can't complain about this little baby boy who I already love so much, so I'll just grin and bear it through the hurdles until I get to see his sweet face in just 3 short months!

Mommy Brain and Miller Stub

Sooo I have been noticing some major issues with what I like to call "mommy brain" (although I've heard it called the much less flattering "pregnancy stupids", which sounds insulting but is actually pretty accurate). Aside from the whole wrecking-my-husband's-car-by-putting-it-into-reverse-instead-of-drive incident, which I'd rather not talk about, I forget things like the names of stuff ("Honey, what's that thing called that keeps our food cold? Right, a refrigerator!), I have about 20 different students assigned to remind me of different things throughout the day (i.e. what time we go to lunch), and yesterday on our professional development day during which the only thing I needed to bring was my laptop...I'll give you three guesses as to what I forgot, but the first two don't count. And from what I hear, it doesn't ever get any better! I used to be known as "the elephant that never forgets" in my family, but I guess what mom told me was true - girls take your beauty and boys take your brain.

I had a doctor's appointment today, and all is well with baby Ezra! He has a healthy heartbeat, and I'm still measuring right on schedule! Surprisingly my weight gain is right on schedule too, even with my massive holiday eating (I had myself convinced that I gained 20 pounds in 2 weeks from all of the goodies I consumed). And speaking of the holidays (which were lovely by the way) wouldn't you know that my stubborn little boy wouldn't let anyone feel him move the entire time we were with family? He's been moving so much lately I just knew that my whole family would get a chance to feel him kicking...but he chose that particular time period to kick toward the inside instead of the outside, making it nearly impossible to feel him move unless you sat with your hands all up on my belly all day (which one cousin said she would do). This made for a rough time in my bladder, let me tell you! There was one morning when he was kicking so hard you could watch my belly move, and of course my sister was in the shower, my dad was outside, and when I called my mom over to feel and she put her hand on my belly he immediately stopped. There is a rumor of a trait passed down from generation to generation on my mom's side of the family known as "the Miller stub"...apparently we're a stubborn people, although I refuse to admit that I am the least bit stubborn 😉...but I think somehow our son may have inherited this trait...must come from my husband...